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lol….. Fedor VS. Kim… I want to kick Kim jong il like that…

Coker talks about Fedor vs. Rogers, Jacare vs. Lawler, counter-programming and much more.

(The Matt Serra video blog continues down its usual path.)

- Frank Shamrock says don’t count Marloes Coenen out just yet. (Cagewriter)

- Jay Hieron just wants his mom to see him fight on TV. (Fighters Only)

- Wes Sims has been training for Bobby Lashley his whole career? (MMA Fighting)

- Strikeforce: Miami preview and predictions. (Heavy)

- Roxanne Modafferi is at it again in Japan. (Fightlinker)

- Marius Zaromski is always just one kick away. (Fight Magazine)

- Booked: upcoming fights on the MMA horizon. (The Rumble)

- Top 10 most lethal strikers in the UFC. (Bleacher Report)

- Kurt Warner announces his retirement. (Scores Report)

- A movie about being a man: The Graduate. (Ask Men)

- This is what happens when a protest gets protested. (Asylum)

- 25 people kicked in the nuts. (Holy Taco)

- 16 villians we’d rather see win. (Screen Junkies)

- How to break up online. (Made Man)

- Greatest fan commercial…ever. (All Left Turns)

- Insane kid jumps onto the top of a moving bus. (Nothing Toxic)

(Finally, someone to ask Herschel Walker the hard-hitting questions, like how do you deal with a spontaneous erection in the middle of math class? Photo courtesy of All Elbows.)

The main card fighters all managed to make weight today for Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Miami event, though we did find out that if Herschel Walker plans on making a serious go of it in MMA, he might want to consider a drop to light heavyweight.  Not that there’s no market at all for a 214-pound heavyweight, but it is quickly disappearing. 

The boys on the undercard did have a few minor glitches, with some coming in heavy and some laboring under paperwork problems, but as long as "Cyborg" Santos avoided female trouble we have to term this one a complete success.  Don’t forget that we’ll be liveblogging the entire Showtime broadcast, so come back here on Saturday night to get your fill of commentary, live results, and what passes for wit around these parts.  Full weigh-in results are below.

Nick Diaz (169.5) vs. Marius Zaromskis (169)
Cristiane Santos (144.5) vs. Marloes Coenen (143.75)
Bobby Lashley (252.25) vs. Wes Sims (258.25)
Melvin Manhoef (185.75) vs. Robbie Lawler (185.75)
Herschel Walker (214.25) vs. Greg Nagy (210.5)
Jay Hieron (170.25) vs. Joe Riggs (170.5)

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(Props: LesnarMMA)

Like those helpful little video clips you sometimes see on Al-Jazeera or North Korean state television, Brock Lesnar’s YouTube channel just put out some footage of a somewhat-healthy-looking Lesnar getting back into the swing of training, with the added claim that the formerly ailing UFC heavyweight champ is "ready to give Frank Mir another mauling, or to knock out Shane Carwin." Obviously he’s still in recovery mode — his punches and knees are thrown at a fraction of full strength, and this may be the first time we’ve seen him look fatigued in the gym — but at least he’s out of bed and heading in the right direction. Look closely at the 0:34 mark, and you’ll notice Chris Tuchscherer telling one of his campmates about this chick who just broke up with him over text message, that heartless bitch.

(From Monson’s tattoos to the girl in the halter top standing up for no reason, EA Sports has all the details of an MMA event down cold.)

The great thing about pro fighting video games, aside from the opportunity to feel like you have personally knocked out Josh Koscheck, is the ability to make dream match-ups that never happen in real life, such as Muhammad Ali vs. Mike Tyson, Blade vs. a small Asian woman, or Bobby Lashley vs. someone who presents a real challenge.  No offense to Wes Sims, who oddsmakers believe is more likely to win on Jeopardy! than he is to win at Strikeforce: Miami, but when you’re more excited about fighting in a warm climate than you are about your own chances for victory, people tend not to take you seriously.

Aside from showing off some sharp graphics, the shots of Lashley in the forthcoming EA Sports MMA game really make us dwell on what an appropriate opponent Jeff Monson would have been for Lashley.  Obviously Monson has more experience, but the size and strength difference might help even things out, and at the very least we’d find out where Lashley is in his evolution as a fighter.  Instead, we’ll have to content ourselves with finding out how much punishment Sims is really willing to take on a week’s notice. Our guess is, just enough, but no more than is absolutely necessary.

More screen shots of Lashley from the EA Sports game are after the jump, in case you’re interested.

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Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

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Some of you have been asking us why we don’t give CagePotato t-shirts away anymore. Others have been asking us why our store site has completely shit the bed. The answers to those questions are 1) Because we’re lazy, and 2) Don’t ask us, we just work here. But it’s been too long since we’ve shouted out our best commenters, and that insult ends…right now. Picking up "Devil Horns" tees this week are…

skeletor on "Get Your Sleeveless T-Shirt Out: The UFC Now Has a Gym": I think you get to train at the gym for something like $20 for the first month, but you have to come in early when no important people are around to see you. If you do well enough they will do like a multi-month contract for about $45 dollars. The more buff you get the more you have to pay, and it can get pretty out of hand. The biggest problem is if you ever leave for another gym or they kick you out for not being able to squat as much as some of the new guys, Dana will publicly berate you. He will then begin to question the the validity of you’re max on the bench, and say you only went to the friendlier less dictator like gym down the street because he didn’t want you at his gym anymore.

If you’re not ready for the UFC gym I would suggest trying out a smaller gym like Strikeforce. They have some good equipment just not nearly as much, but the fees are less, and the owner isn’t such a dick. Also they let you work out at other gyms for as long as you want, even if they take the time to build a whole workout room around your specific needs.

I hope this clears up some of the questions you had. So to sum it all up, it looks like Chuck could use some fiber in his diet.

landOencagement on "Renzo Gracie’s Only Problem Is His Wife Complaining": BJ Penn looks like the baby from Dinosaurs in that clip.
[Ed. note: OMFG.]

If your name has been called, please e-mail feedback@cagepotato.com with your address and shirt size, and we’ll get a shirt out to you pronto.

(Props: GenghisConMMA via BloodyElbow)

Of Robbie Lawler’s 18 wins, 15 have come via KO/TKO; of Melvin Manhoef’s 24 wins, 23 have come via KO/TKO. We may not agree with Lawler’s strategy going into tomorrow night’s fight, but sometimes you just have to say "fuck it, this is going to be a slugfest, and it’s going to be awesome." Genghis Con’s preview compilation for the middleweight battle captures that spirit perfectly. Lawler vs. Manhoef is going to end with somebody staring at the ceiling, the owner of a brand-new concussion. The only questions are: Who will it be, and how long will it last?

After the jump: Wes Sims makes it very clear why he’s such an enormous underdog against Bobby Lashley, and Chael Sonnen takes a break from his homophobic Republican heel routine to speak candidly about his upcoming UFC 109 matchup with Nate Marquardt, which will very likely produce the UFC’s next middleweight title challenger.

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(If this fight were in prison, we wouldn’t even have to think about who to bet our smokes on.)

Good news for all you members of the First Church of the Stand and Bang, heavyweight strikers Gilbert Yvel and Pat Barry are going to give you some of what you crave at UFC 115 this summer.  According to the Las Vegas Sun, both guys have agreed to a bout that hardly needs any gentlemen’s agreement about how it will go down.  Both fighters are known as much for their love of kicking and punching people as they are for their reluctance to engage in the ground game, so this should be a stand-up battle all the way, and probably one that won’t last very long.

Barry’s coming off a second-round TKO of Antoni Hardonk at UFC 104 in October, and Yvel got knocked out by Junior Dos Santos in his Octagon debut at UFC 108 earlier this month.  Yvel may have the experience advantage and a total willingness to fight dirty, but if he looks as sloppy against Barry as he did against Dos Santos he could be in for a rough night.  According to what he told the Sun, however, that was just first time jitters:

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